Security is a rising issue that we all consider in many contexts:
- Cyber security
- World security
- Personal security
- Home security
- Career security
- Financial security
- Emotional security
It is a term that is banded around as if it is a concrete physical object we can hold and possess, and yet no one can exist with complete surety or rely on any form of external security. Life is a risk and we have no choice but to take risks and without risks our emotional, physical and cognitive development would be impaired.
Of course we can minimise known risks, but nothing can account for the wildness of life and the uncertainty of nature. Therefore, our decisions and actions include an element of taking a leap of faith..
Untold numbers of scientists over many centuries have tried to tame the world and even the universe by trying to understand and order everything according to science. But knowledge without wisdom can lead to unwise choices often labelled as progress and in reality can lead to dire consequences that upset natural balance.
In an attempt to protect our personal security within this wild world we have placed ourselves in artificial environments controlled by technology to create the perfect surrounding and ambience. Not only do we live in man made cocoons but we travel in manmade boxes that keep the natural world at bay all in the name of security.
The universe for all of our meddling and attempts to make it ordered and safe is resolute in its natural patterns not influenced by our over reactive anxiety that craves consistent safety and is hardwired to reset back to balance.
We are all here to learn about ourselves and how we navigate our world. Rising to our personal challenges and taking risks are a necessary ingredient to aid in our ability to gain resilience and work with natural everyday uncertainties. Focusing our energy on wanting to alter what is perfectly created to challenge and support us, is not only futile, but more risky as we seek to upset the equilibrium of nature. We have become so separate and fearful of the raw power of nature and are unaware our very existence is a creation of nature and we are uniquely adapted to inhabit our natural world.
When we reside in a constant fear state our creative energy to problem solve and create solutions is depleted and our life's purpose can become unclear. It is only when we cease fighting and wanting to defeat our natural world we begin to acknowledge its amazing strength, adaptability, capacity and beauty. When we fully comprehend and harness the gifts nature bestows on each and every one of us we are on our way to mastering how we utilise risk.
'If you risk nothing you gain nothing.'
Bear Grylls
There has never been more discussion and focus on security as there is right now and the increase in health & safety policies in every area of our lives has become so predominant we are becoming fearful of our own shadows.
While it is prudent to have a common sense attitude to security, we can rest assured our unconscious minds have had that covered and ensured our survival for thousands of years. Our instincts are always ready to step in when required to stop us from being reckless.
The worldwide obsession with security has not and will not bring global or personal peace. It is the very fuel that ignites wars and disputes. The basis of security when out of proportion is fear and fear breeds suspicion and distrust.
In an era of locked and bolted doors, sensor lights and alarms fitted to everything we have created a base level of distrust.
The media hones in on fear as a way of selling and promoting messages, exaggerating any source of security issue and selling gadgets that solve the issue they so obviously inflate for nefarious and self fulfilling purposes.
When creating a need the process is initiated by highlighting a problem and the same organisation magically supplying the solution.
If an organisation widely publicised there was a risk of developing nasty rashes and disease if you wear clothes due to the materials in all clothes and almost instantly advertise they have the remedy with great stocks of skin friendly clothing to solve the problem, shouldn't we at least be mindful of the conflict of interest and raise questions?
The home security market alone was over £50,000,000,000 in 2023 and is set to rise to around £72,000,000,000 by 2025. Fear is a profitable business!
Fearful people are far more easily manipulated as they are clambering to feel safe, unaware the fear is generated and diffused by our anticipation and projection. The remedy is within our own power by questioning and self reflection, directed attention and reframing of our fear triggering beliefs.
I suspect if a nationwide survey was completed it would illustrate the rise in how highly sensitised we are to risk and perceive the world to be a more dangerous place than the previous generation who lived through wars.
War is now waged on our minds to install a sense of intolerable risk we spend much of our precious time thinking about or acting to mitigate, which is not even based in our physical reality but a perceived threat.
Once we remain alert to risk and danger for a prolonged period of time it becomes habitual and a level of anxiety is ever present which compromises our natural ability to relax and sleep leading to further emotional undermining and possible mental health challenges.
Security has further ramifications within our relationships. Primed with an ever present need for security we may seek this in a partner which places unreasonable and unrealistic expectations on the relationship.
In our personal search for security we often make do and settle. Sooner or later that decision will bring anything but security. It is not possible to cling and hold tightly onto an intimate relationship as it will sap every drop of love out. What remains may be an abusive or co-dependent existence where loneliness creeps in.
Love is the opposite of fear and responds positively to nurture not demands and anxiety. For a relationship to grow and flourish a sense of trust and personal security has to be present. When we lead with love it is like giving freedom to a wild animal and it choosing to return.
Love resonates when a relationship is entered into willingly and freely and when the individuals have their own personal boundaries. Unlike fear based needs, having boundaries creates a loving security of knowing where you stand. Possessing a sense of internal safety allows boundaries rather than walls and inhabiting complete worthiness creates emotional foundations that fuel our sense of security.
When a secure couple in an intimate relationship nurture their union they value the open freedom they each hold and in turn it continues to imbue their connection without the need to possess.
If you are looking for security, first ask yourself what incited you to do so?
Second, ask yourself how you would feel once you have eliminated every risk known to man and are sitting in your fortress, are you alone?
Third validate your emotions and recognise they are all transitional when you allow emotions to come and go.
Fourth know you have the power to choose the meaning of everything and how you respond emotionally
And finally, imagine how you would look, sound and feel when fear has now dissipated from your life?
Karen Oliver
www.e-motionalsolutions.co.uk
karen4@e-motionalsolutions.co.uk
