It is a very different world today while the class distinction is more blurred and your status at birth does not predetermine your future, it is also less clear where the constant day to day scuttle to and from your place of work is taking you. Many of us do not have a vision of the future, what we desire or how we are going to achieve it. We are lucky to live in an age of great opportunity, but this expectation can cause a perceived pressure and consequently a feeling of not being good enough. Faced with a limitless world sometimes some of us positively take every chance to make the best of every situation while in many of us it brings a sense of a fear of failure or even success. When we are locked into this habitual pattern of thinking it is not easy to utilise these opportunities and we can become stuck in a never ending ground hog day waiting for something to change not really believing we have any say in our own destiny. It can render us into a reactive way of living which does not fulfil out quest for happiness.
So what do successful people do? Surely if they can do it can’t everyone? They do have a vision of where they want to be backed up by a strong sense of desire. In addition to this they are capable of working out the small steps that will allow them to reach their outcome. Not that the path they choose would not be littered with obstacles along the way. By keeping a strong determination, belief and resilience they will remain firm, but flexible and keep the faith in themselves and the future they envisage. Therefore living purposefully requires a vision of what it is all for.
Sounds like a big question I know, but if you don’t have a feeling, image or dialogue that defines what you are aiming for it is not easy to end up where you want to be. Think about what you are passionate about, what really motivates you to act? Do you become incensed about animal welfare or third world poverty or are you more interested in your local community, the elderly or child care. Perhaps you enjoy the arts, have a talent in dance, excel as an athlete or find you have a great skill in negotiation. Whatever it is you can make a difference at an individual level, whether it is by volunteering for a charity or actively seeking out employment within the area that you are emotionally invested in.
We can be so wrapped up in the small stuff that the bigger picture is not even on our radar. I am not sure many of us question our actions and their long term consequences, but just continue to do the same things somehow hoping it will make a difference and bring us contentment and a better life. It is no wonder we become disgruntled when the reward doesn’t seem to justify the effort and can leave an emptiness. Sometimes to see where we are heading requires a step back to view not only the direction, but also the choices that could be available if we just looked up for one moment. If you could choose the future with no limits what would you see? Quite often we are so entrenched in the life we have come to believe would be ours It is not easy to be motivated and take action in a conscious and deliberate way. The future does not always present itself like the proverbial carrot to a donkey.
There has to be something desirable to bring about a change of thought which translates into focused purposeful behaviour. When you really want something how do you manifest it? Do you see it clearly, do you imagine what it would be like to have it? Do you see clear steps to get it? Or do you work out how long it will take you to get it? When you dissect your successful strategies for manifesting the things you want, whether it is a job, a partner or a car you can begin to see what works for you. What if you transferred that thought process consciously to everything you want to achieve in life and broke them down into easy steps. Once you have set up a personalised blue print of how you achieve success you can apply it to any situation as a series of steps. Sometimes visualising that you have already achieved your big picture outcome can help you to determine the steps needed to get there. To understand what motivates you to be proactive in achieving can give you access to resources you weren’t aware of and give encouragement and confidence to seek out and take the right opportunities.
Imagine now that you have already achieved the outcome you really desire. What would you look like as this future self? Would you be smiling? Are you standing or moving? What would you be thinking or telling yourself? How would it feel? Allow your visualisation to evolve by adding some colour. What is your favourite colour? How intense is that colour and what does it remind you of? What emotion does that colour evoke? What sounds can you hear? Maybe some music and what about laughter? Maybe a family or friend’s voice congratulating you or cheers from an audience! How does that feel and where are you feeling it? Allow that feeling to expand and intensify and notice how that feeling becomes more and more real with every deep breath you take. Now that you have fully experienced this great achievement what would you tell yourself back in the now? What gems of wisdom do you need to hear from your future self? What resources did you use to achieve your outcome? Imagine sending the message back to you in the now to support and motivate you to take that first step. Maybe you would send the message back like a light beam or maybe deliver it as a beautifully wrapped gift.
Imagine receiving that message and the truth and love that comes with it for your future contentment. How much easier will it be to take that first step and believe you have everything you need to fulfil your outcome?
When you think about your future how far can you see? One year, five years or maybe ten? If you continue to carry out the day to day tasks without question where will you be? Will your life be fulfilling and satisfying? Is that picture a bright and happy one? What if you decided right now to find other options, would you still be on the same path?
What would a mentor advise you to do? If you don’t have one right now? Who would you appoint as your mentor? It could be someone you know or an imaginary person who has all the attributes you admire in a successful person. It could be someone well known that you feel a connection to. As you hear their words reminding you of your strengths and your ability to take action notice how it feels to have someone believe in you. How much clearer is that first step to your desired future contented self now? How close is the image of your outcome. Maybe you are beginning to feel as if you are stepping into your outcome and are surrounded by the people that support you.
Everything we do starts with a first step. It is so much easier to make that important start if we can break it down into small steps that we can work towards every day. Why not put an image of your desired outcome with a photo of yourself from a cherished memory and place them in clear view. Become aware every time you glance at them how those feelings of taking steps towards something you are passionate about, that gives you a purpose and excites you, just seem to flow. How it gives you a sense of moving towards your outcome in a joyous and energetic way. Notice how powerful you feel when you believe you are capable of sculpting out your own destiny.
Quite often we are very good at listing all the things we think we could do much better, but not so forthcoming when asked to relay all of our attributes. It is interesting to note it is also more easy to recall those things we have received criticism for even when the remaining feedback carried a positive and supportive message and how this can take hold as an undeniable truth. To alter this detrimental view of ourselves unfortunately seems to take rather more than one complementary remark which will probably be ignored or filtered out as it does not fit with the current less than positive belief. There seem to be good reasons to keep the unhelpful view of ourselves as it serves as a reminder to avoid making the same mistakes by creating an uncomfortable feeling. However, this resistance of letting go of the experience and the following criticism can lead to further evidence of not being capable or good enough and more situations of perceived failure. The belief snowballs and gains momentum and becomes almost impenetrable to objectivity and logical analysis and therefore not easy to put forward the opposing theory and to question the validity of this disempowering belief. However, beliefs do change over time and it requires some conscious rationalisation of the beliefs that support your outcomes and those that have held you back. When you become aware of a stopper, something that whenever you get to a certain stage of success seems to draw a halt to your proactivity, ask yourself what is the worst thing that could happen if you continued? Allow the answer to come to you quickly without searching or overthinking the answer. You might be surprised what comes up, but it will give you an insight into what you are able to do to dissipate the fear. By shedding light on the previously hidden underlying sabotage in itself takes away some of its power.
To continue past this old belief requires new thinking. Now you can start by asking those who love and support you to recall events that confirm you possess the resources that would oppose this outmoded belief. Gain as much evidence as possible and note down the resources they list. When you read back the list put a number between one to ten next to each resource to reflect how much of that resource you believe you have. Then ask your contributors to independently give you a score of one to ten for the same list. Notice the disparity! The difference of views indicates that maybe you are not aware of your value in the world as observed by others. By taking on board these views it can alter your own perception and allow you to recognise the resources you have not given yourself credit for.
Now imagine you are your own best friend looking at yourself with a sense of compassion and affection and score the list again. What changes? We often as not are our own worst critics and our opinions and judgement are far more favourable towards those we love. We don’t always find it easy to be so encouraging of ourselves. The benefit of being our own best buddy is two fold, not only do we begin to feel encouraged and supported by our compassionate attitude, but also by beginning to believe in our strengths and abilities we break the cycle of not achieving and punishing ourselves and feeling lacking and not achieving and punishing ourselves, you get the idea! As we learn to be kinder when we are not successful it is easier to take some learning from the situation and move forward with a positive idea of what we have taken from the experience which will support a new successful method of living in tune with our purposeful life plan.
Next time you are in a busy town or city take time to look at the hustle and bustle of people. We walk with intent, but lack true purpose following what we think we should be doing and not listening to our inner voice that wants to guide us to live in alignment with our hearts desire.
