With constant messages filling our lives in the form of advertisements, TV, internet and social media it is not that surprising that many of us feel inadequate and develop a mask to hide behind that allows us to fit in and be accepted. However, it takes a large amount of our energy to keep the mask in place, constantly having to check our behaviour and analyse what we think and how to express our opinions or whether our thoughts are even acceptable.
The consequence of this mask over time brings conflict and pain. We yearn to be able to be authentic and yet we are busily making sure our mask is secure and covering up any sign of our true selves and being what the world wants us to be, aren’t we? But what happens when the carefully constructed disguise is criticised and judged. Where do we turn when the mask is not acceptable. What can we do when we have spent so long trying to please others and be a part of acceptable society that we don’t even know how to be our true selves?
It takes courage to take off the mask and lay ourselves bare, but by not doing so we short change ourselves. True peace can only come from being at peace with who we are and therefore pretending to be someone we are not can never bring that inner tranquility we seek. When we reject ourselves the universe echoes that rejection. Acceptance has to start with us, how can anyone else approve of us if we do not. The truth is it is a lot easier to be ourselves and as long as we approve of ourselves we can offer more compassion to ourselves and others when mistakes occur. We are more readily able to forgive ourselves and others. We learn more readily from those mistakes and remain at peace with our identity regardless of our behaviour.
Perhaps we have believed we will be acceptable when we have lost that weight or changed the colour of our hair or had a cosmetic enhancement.
What makes us human is our perfect imperfections and we have been overtly and covertly brainwashed into believing we should hide them. Now is the time to go bare faced into the world and confidently take a stand. Those who criticise and judge are usually scared of doing exactly that and envious of those who make no apologies and need no validation for who they are. Be compassionate for their inability to be free and continue to resonate your pure energy out to the world.
Acceptance brings its own beauty, a bright pure energy that enhances health and well being. By becoming more aware of our own thoughts and self-talk we begin to notice the power they carry and the affect they have on our feelings and mood. What happens when you have loving and compassionate thoughts and feelings towards yourself and others?
What if we could accept ourselves right now just as we are with all our perfect imperfections even though we don’t look like a top model or celebrity. While we are all trying to conform to an accepted norm to fit in and be a part of something, we miss out on our own individual uniqueness. We owe it to ourselves to develop our qualities that had not been fully recognised, too busy covering any trace of our unique identity. Our differences are not something to be hidden away, but a reason to celebrate and shine.
All children should be encouraged to keep their dreams and aspirations rather than taught to conform and limit themselves. How can we grow up valuing and expressing our own traits if we are told by adults our dreams are impossible or unrealistic. When we are encouraged to explore our own resources, express our thoughts and act on our ideas we learn we are acceptable and it becomes easy to just be ourselves. We expend so much energy trying to impress others and seek validation, but perhaps our focus would be better placed on impressing ourselves!
Always a mask, Held in the slim hand whitely, Always she had a mask before her face
Truly the wrist, Holding it lightly, Fitted the task: Sometimes however, Was there a shiver, Fingertip quiver, Ever so slightly – Holding the mask
For years and years and years I wondered, But dared not ask, And then – I blundered, Looked behind the mask, To find, Nothing – She had no face.
She had become merely a hand, Holding a mask with grace
