Christmas Joy

Christmas is the time of the year when we have high expectations. We have waited for this precious time to spend with our families and everything has to be perfect. With such expectations it is easy for the Christmas experience to fall short. The family dynamics will play out whether it is Christmas or not and spending more time in close quarters to our loved ones can heighten any friction.

The recipe for a joyful Christmas is not another present, more alcohol or an extra packet of mince pies.
The answer lies within each of us, indeed only we can produce the joy we so desperately seek. We cannot stop Great Aunt Mary from complaining about the noise or teenage Jake from making incomprehensible noises and being anti-social. These challenges are there to teach us to surrender from our attempts to control accept and work with what is.

When we can learn that everyone is doing their best and even though it may fall short of what we consider to be appropriate behaviour learning that not everyone has the same view of life is invaluable. We have not lived their lives, experienced their challenges and don't hold their beliefs. The fact is once we can accept our family for who they are it is far easier to find our own joy. What brings us joy may be completely different to our loved ones. We can tend to have a set idea of what needs to be present for joy to exist. However this approach rather than bringing joy can limit unless a set of elements are present. Added to this our vision of what Christmas Joy looks like may be very different to our loved ones!

Therefore a less prescribed approach to Christmas is far less likely to bring friction to the festivities. Allowing everyone to experience their own version of Christmas and perhaps being open enough to try out other people's ideas will bring the ability to be more flexible and help us discover joy more easily.

Christmas is a time of traditions and we can be resistant to try new things, but by being inclusive all members of the family can contribute in creating new traditions. Dickens Christmas Carol has a relevance even today. Christmas past is resigned to history and cannot be changed. Christmas future is an unknown and is shaped by what happens now. Christmas present is the only place changes can be made and Scrooge changed his destiny by taking heed of the power he had in the present. He embraced his own joy by experiencing gratitude for everything he had and spreading that joy with those around him bringing a hopeful Christmas. While Scrooge had believed he could not be joyful due to his past experiences he lived in the past recreating a pattern that confirmed his beliefs and stifled any joy. The turning point came when he was lucky enough to be given the foresight at to where his current joyless existence would lead. Scrooge was forced to look at the present in a different light and ignited his own internal ability to experience joy for Christmas and life!

Christmas joy can be found when we embrace the time we share with our loved ones and understand pure joy can only be present when we are present. While the quality of the turkey and the taste of the Christmas pudding may be considered important, it is the atmosphere and laughter that will bring the Merry to Christmas and the warmth and joy that will be cherished and remembered all year!